...and with the end of 2022, I have been humbled. While 2021 was something of a honeymoon period, 2022 had a number of different challenges for me. I suppose I could list them all and elaborate.
Discovering I have Auto Immune Disease
In Mid April of 2022, My left eye would begin to feel strange. It started to feel blurry, on top of feeling sore and sensitive to light. I thought nothing of it at the time. I decided to sleep on it until the next day, only it had gotten worse the next morning. My left eye was bright red and the pain was still present. From there I was sent to my primary care provider who told me my eye was “inflamed”. But the cause had not yet been discovered. We thought it may have been a virus, but had no way of knowing for sure. I would eventually see an ophthalmologist, and was diagnosed with Uveitis. Though this diagnosis gave me a point of reference, the cause still hadn’t been found. Regardless, the doctor explained to me that my eye was being destroyed by the inflammation, and I needed immediate treatment. The ophthalmologist gave me Steroid droplets which partially worked, but my eye was still very red and sore. No matter what we tried, it seemed like nothing was truly going to fix the problem.
The whole time I was in constant chronic pain and bed ridden. It could be alleviated with ibuprofen, but the drug would take hours to kick in. I had an ice pack for a majority of the time while I was in bed. But even that didn’t always work. And I couldn’t do anything to take my mind off the pain.
I couldn’t draw.
I couldn’t read comics.
I couldn’t play games.
And while I could listen to YouTube videos, I would be in too much pain to even crack a smile or laugh at any of the humor.
After nearly a month, I was sent to a rheumatologist for further study on my eye’s condition. The rheumatologist prescribed me Prednisone, which unlike my other treatments, finally removed my chronic pain and gave me some peace of mind. After an extensive blood test, the rheumatologist concluded that I was “HLA B27 Positive” and that my condition was “The result of my Immune System mistaking my left eye as a foreign object, and trying to remove it”. The condition was also said to be permanent, but that the symptoms are treatable.
After doing my own research, I discovered that HLA B27 is correlated to all kinds of inflammatory conditions, including Spinal Inflammation, Joint Inflammation, and my own Eye Inflammation (Uveitis). This means that I could potentially develop other inflammatory conditions in the future. Though, that is not guaranteed. Regardless, the possibility still looms over me like a shadow.
Eventually, after an entire month on Prednisone, my vision fully recovered, my eye was no longer sore, and the whites of my eye reappeared as if nothing happened. I was switched over to Humira, which I’m currently taking now. The rheumatologist told me that I need to be on Humira for 1-2 years before they can make their next move.
Needless to say, this was quite the experience. It taught me how fragile life can really be, and that we all are capable of having a serious crisis happen to us. I learned not to take the things in my life for granite, and to cherish them better going forward.
Though I haven’t had any issues since early May of 2022, I still think about the manner in which my life had been altered.
Nelly’s Disappearance from the Internet
Sometime in January of 2022, an NG user named NellyFluff joined one of our Discord Servers. At first, I found her really strange. She would laugh at the smallest things. And when I say laugh, I mean laugh at just about every small little thing. I kinda made fun of her for it...scratch that, I really went ham on her. Like the time she joined a “Tanksona” chat and got bodied by all the Tank Frickers. Or the time she made a remark about Stanpai being “good looking” and accidentally spawned the “Omni Stan” meme. Those where the days I tell ya.
But overtime, Nelly started to grow on me. And she grew on everyone she ever met here on Newgrounds. She eventually became a huge part of our community and brought so much energy to NG. Nelly would throw herself into just about every collab she could. I remember one time she ended up having back pains cuz she would draw endlessly on her tablet. And she was in a damn fetal position while drawing...like...get a table or a desk or a cardboard box or ANYTHING LMAO!!!
But one day, she just left the internet without a trace. No warning, no goodbyes, nothing. First, she deleted her Newgrounds account. Then she deleted her Twitter and Instagram. And finally, her Discord account was deleted. As far as I know, she never made any statements as to why all the accounts are gone. And I have yet to hear confirmation from any of her friends as to why she’s gone.
A lot of us where very sad to see her go. I was dumbfounded by the lack of answers for her departure. It was a somber moment for us all. I have my own theories as to why she may have left, but nothing I can confirm for certain. I’m just hoping she wasn’t blackmailed off the internet. That has been my biggest fear.
Regardless of wherever she is now, I just hope she’s doing alright for herself.
Everybody moves on from each other eventually
Time is never on our side. As time as passed, I’ve seen lots of people come and go from our little community. I’d say that FNF was a major peak in terms of attention on NG. But all good things must come to an end eventually. Most of the people I used to VC with have moved onto other things. I can’t say I’ve known a lot of people who have left NG entirely (aside from Nelly). But I can say that everyone has found their own little friend groups to be a part of. The hype I experienced from 2021 just isn’t there anymore.
Everyone’s got their own shit to handle. Some people get along better with others. I just gotta keep moving forward.
Dealing with my own Personal Flaws
One thing this year taught me was how many personal flaws I have. At this point in the essay, I won’t go super in-depth on every single thing that’s wrong with me on a personal level.
I’ll just summarize it like this.
In 2021, I thought I had the world at the palm of my hands.
In 2022, I found out I barely knew anything about life itself.
In 2023, I’m hoping to not burden myself with too many expectations.
Well all of that was a bit of a downer. As bad as some of that was, I do have a silver lining. It helps cap off everything in a way that won’t leave us on such a bitter note.
Preproduction for my Webcomic is complete - Sue n’ Clark coming this year
After a year and a half of conception and planning, I can say with certainty that my webcomic (Sue n’ Clark) will finally have some entries in 2023. When the first entry arrives is yet to be decided, but I hope to get one in before Valentines Day. That’s not really promise, but more of a desire I hope to fulfill.
I will be releasing shorter 3-4 page entries of Sue n’ Clark whenever I can. I hope to release them consistently, but bare in mind I don’t want to burn myself out. My goal with these smaller entries is to gauge public interest in my webcomic idea. If I get a good dynamic going between Sue and Clark (the main characters), I will likely proceed to make a full chapter, going over their origin stories, as well as linking more chapters together into a narrative.
That is the plan for now. We’ll have to see what happens this year. Hope you all enjoy Sue n’ Clark when the first issue arrives.
Major Skill Improvements in my Art
Perhaps the best achievement I reached this year was more improvement in my art. I feel like I made two major breakthroughs.
The first was an improved and consistent art style. In the beginning of 2022, I made it a goal of mine to come up with a style consistent for Sue n’ Clark. I decided to go with the “Highschooler Sketchbook” look, as I felt that theme would fit best with the overall aesthetic for my webcomic. Of course, I made use of it in fanart as well, which helped give me a better understanding of how my style could evolve over time.
The second was a better understanding of shape form. This was probably the hardest and most painful one for me to achieve, as it opened my eyes to how little I really knew about character design. In the beginning I struggled, due to my own ego and wanting to “do things my way”. But overtime, I began to understand why shape form and anatomy are so important. And while I found my own way to improve, I ultimately gained a better understanding of both myself and character design. I still feel like this one might be a work in progress. But progress, I have certainly made.
I also got better at drawing hands.
Of course, there is always room for improvement. And this year, I will work to improve more and more. Here’s a few things I’ve been thinking about improving.
- Perspective
- Backgrounds (did a little last year but still..)
- Line Weight
- Different Art Styles
Forward Momentum for my Real Life
Despite the BS (Uveitis) I’ve had to put up with, my real life has been going in the right direction. My life outside the internet has had stable growth in spite of my health issues. I have plans to finally move out this year and will hopefully have my own place in the coming months. My income is stable, and I can afford the things I will need for when I move out.
Rebrand Going Smoothly
So going from “Fatso” to “Eugene” has been both strange and pleasant. It feels like a soft reboot to everything. I am hoping to live a much more healthy life style and move away from the more toxic elements of my former sona. I still have a bit of work I need to do to truly complete my rebrand phase, but it’ll all be worth it.
Goals Going Forward
I think its best not to put too many expectations on this new year. Its better to go with the flow I feel. But, I do have one goal in mind. See my webcomic through. I made a promise to myself that I would continue my work regardless of whatever happens. Now is the year I deliver.
Conclusion
2022 had its rough patches. I learned a lot from my own mistakes, as well as ones that where out of my control. But I still achieved a few great things last year. And regardless of whatever happens, I will aim to achieve more this year as well.
I hope to see you all then. If you actually took the time to read all this, thank you.
-Eugene
